World of Wasabi

I will know when...

I will know when the perfect man walks in my life when he sings or says these words ....

Ain't no sunshine when she's gone
It's not warm when she's away
Ain't no sunshine when she's gone
She's gone much too long
Any time she goes away

Ain't no sunshine when she's gone
Wonder if she's gone to stay
Ain't no sunshine when she's gone
And this house just ain't no home
Anytime she goes away

I know
She's gone to stay
It's breakin' me up
Anytime she goes away
Gotta leave the young thing alone
There ain't no sunshine when she's gone

Ain't no sunshine when she's gone
It's not warm when she's away
Ain't no sunshine when she's gone
And she's gone much too long
Any time she goes away

Ain't no sunshine when she's gone
I wonder if she's gone to stay
There ain't no sunshine when she's gone
And this house just ain't a home
Any time she goes away

I know
She's gone to stay
It's breaking me up
Any time she goes away
Gotta leave the young thing alone
There ain't no sunshine when she's gone

Ain't no sunshine when she's gone
I wonder if she's gone to stay
Ain't no sunshine when she's gone
And this house just ain't no home
Any time she goes away
Any time she goes away

beer # 6

ok enough of being sentimental.

let's talk about boys.

I say boys - not men - on purpose.

do they ever grow up? are they ever truly men? and why is it that if you put yourself out there vulnerable that they take full advantage of it? and why do we let them? and does sex drive them as much as we think that it does? and if we put out does it really put us in that catagory of "not the right girl"?  but if we don't put out does it put us in the catagory of "if you won't I will find the girl that will"? and are they really looking for the one that reminds them of their mother?  and if they hate their mother should you not trust them?  and when they roll over in the morning after snuggling and sex to tell you that they are going to moving in with their girlfriend should you "basic instinct" their ass because they truly deserve it ?  or should you just muster up whatever dignity you have left and walk away? and when their girlfriend gives them an altimatium not to ever speak to you again but then of course you are speaking to him again (naked) because he is telling you that she gave him an altimatium - should you figure out a way to send her an anonymous email picture where he is grabbin your ass .... 

the joys of dating.

MISSING YOU....

I miss my friends.  Something awful.

Usually I'm okay about this stuff.  Detached in that independant way. 

But tonight I had a really great conversation with one of my best friends (something we haven't gotten to do in a very long time), and she really has been going through some shit in her life, and I'm not there.  I'm not there to drag her ass out to some local sleazy bar and say "just unload" and she would and I would say something utterly stupid but profound and make her laugh and it would lighten the load if even for a couple of tipsy crazy moments ... and life would be okay cause we would figure out a way to become instantly rich and we could tell everyone that is driving us freaking insane to go screw themselves because all we really need to do in life is have pretty boys serve us drinks on a beach and wipe the sweat off of our perfect (but aging) asses.  Yeah I miss that.

I also miss &/or envy when my two best friends get to do this venting - bonding without me.  It sucks cause I'm usually working my butt off and being a responsible adult - which by all means is not my favorite hat to wear. 

I have "other" friends.  And I get to have fun with these other friends.  But they do not fill the void of my my true buddies.  And I can't even express to my "true buddies" how much I miss them because that wouldn't be right because there isn't much to do about the whole situation anyway.

But as I sit in my hotel room - on my 4th beer - I just wish it was my 4th beer sitting in some sleazy bar telling some obnoxious story, with tears in my eyes and a "can you fucking believe this happened look on my face" because it's completely ridiculous - and my friends sitting across from me grabbing their stomach - or laughing so hard that there are tears in their eyes, because then we all would know that for that brief moment in time that all the shit that goes on in the real world - will still go on - but we have each other to lean on and it all doesn't seem so bad.

A real "insanity" check if you will ...

I miss them so much - homesickness is a real bitch. 

(and they don't understand why five weeks in Vegas seems like an eternity?) 

Discombobulated

I haven't been feeling just right lately. I don't know what I want. In fact I have been envious of everyone simply because they have a freaking clue of where they want to be. Or better yet of what they want to be when they grow up. Agreed that most of the people I know have had the choice made for them or have ended up in situations where they have had to make the right choice or pick the better of two evils. But at least the choice was made.

I on the other hand have spent my life floundering.

I am the fly by the seat of my pants, swinging from one good time to the next, and always land on my feet, PARTY girl.

It gets old - I'm getting old.

But what the hell do I want to do? I dunno.

I love my job - it's fanastic.

I love my life - it couldn't be better.

I love my friends and family - ya just gotta.

BUT IS THERE MORE?!?!?!!?

I'm needing to expand my horizons - a spiritual breakthrough if you will. I need to know that all this pain and suffering, happiness and laughter - (ok drinking and finding new hangover remedies) - is for a good reason.

Seriously - tell me when life just starts to click and I figure out what the fuck I am here for.

what the f*ck! over.

I have certain people that I read - as does everyone. But tonight it was all about love, togetherness, relationships .... blah, blah, blah ....

Those of you that are THERE know my pain. Great - I am so GLAD for you - I think it it wonderful that YOU are smitten. Kudos. But stop fucking gushing on an on about it. I know you aren't doing it intentionally - and I know I will do it when I get there ---- but DAMN sometimes -especially when my palet is dry - it is so hard to swallow.

I do drink water. And the well is full. But the fishing is sparce right at the moment. And your big fucking guppie that is wiggling on the end of the rope is pissing me off .... don't make me cut that rope!

Optimisism can kill.... it should come with a warning label.

The grass IS always greener but right now it has been a drought on this side.

God bless the single life.

listen

I have got something to say.

If you have been lucky enough to snag someone to put up with your shit and they stick around ..... by God then you are REALLY fucking lucky. Sometimes you get even luckier and have the chance of having two people worship you - get over yourself and decide. Because if you wait .... you might lose the chance of a lifetime and God doesn't hand those out for free. Don't screw up.....

You know that I am talking to you.

Ass kickin'

Have you ever had a day where you just got your ass kicked by the world? Well that was my day in a nut shell. I love my job. I get paid to travel, all expenses paid, per diem, the works. My job puts me in situations to meet great interesting people. I get enough free time to go and experience the places that I am lucky enough to get assigned to - in fact right now as we speak I am about 60 miles from San Diego. Pretty nice.

But this week - and it's only tuesday - I have just been beaten down.

I am on an assignment that I am just not prepared for - with no fault on my part. I just haven't been given the information up front and it's just killing my ego. I like being in charge, the expert, the word of god. But right now I'm not - in fact I've learn more from the people I'm supposed to be teaching, short cuts and whatnots, and that's not supposed to happen. It's hard to gain respect if they know more than you do.

I know I will get them through the conversion but it's just miserable trying to train when they look at me each day like we already know what the fuck you are saying...give us something new.

But enough bitchin'.

I did get to have a fabulous weekend in San Diego. I got to lay on the beach and eat fabulous food and dance in some pretty kick ass clubs. I even got a little which is always nice.

So enough venting.

hot mama

Last night I went to a fantastic steakhouse called Kirby's. As I sat at this beautiful place eating my beef tenderloin medallions, with lump crab and asparagus, with a lovely béarnaise sauce..... I was people watching of course. One lady caught my eye; she was decked out to the nines. She was about 60 something, silver hair all swept up in a classy do, hot red pants, beautiful jewelry, a very slim but sexy cane and the kicker was she had on three-inch heels. All I could think was "you go girl!"

I hope I have that much spunk when I am that age.

Ringing in 33

Well it all started about midnight Friday night. I got in Tampa at 11pm and was drinking at a bar called Howl at the Moon by 12am. It was a dueling piano place.... very fun.... they sang great 'sing along songs' that you know all the words too! 'Sweet Caroline', 'If you like Pina Coladas', 'Shook me all night long’.... you know the ones. We closed that place down, and drove back to the hotel - it was a full moon and we had a fantastic view of the water right outside of the hotel. Life is good.

Saturday ate a fat breakfast and headed for the beach. Of course had to have a couple of cocktails just to set the day off right. I went for a good ol' mug of ice-cold beer. Just something about it screams beach time to me. Then we played in the water for a few hours, took a nap in the sun and life was perfect.

Then got ready and went out to Eborg (a couple block stretch of many, many bars and restaurants) we hit an Irish Pub, and sports bar, a sushi place, and a dance club. Drug our butts home at about 3am but all and all a very well rounded evening.

Sunday, my actual birthday, my sister hooked us up with a brunch cruise on this kick ass yacht. There was amazing food, fun fruity drinks and a reggae band playing on the top deck. It was a balmy 87 degrees and the wind was whipping through my hair. Again, life is good.

Went back to the hotel and took a tiny nap. Then showered and back to the beach, this time we hung out at a tiki bar right on the water. This calls for the perfect margarita ......

Six margarita's later and I find myself talking to this very hot man with a voice that sounds exactly like Matthew McConaughey. Seriously, I even shut my eyes a couple of times just to make sure. Anyway he just happened to have a boat and a friend for my sister. And so the next thing I know I am cruisin on this huge boat and we pull up to this kick ass house. Evel Knievel was there neighbor and John Travolta's house was about a mile around the bend. Very nice place. So the boys give us a tour and make fun fruity drinks and we go swimming and hot tubbing. I won't go into the gory details but it was one fantastic most awesome day. And that's the only way to describe it.

Of course I had to catch a plane the next day (Monday) and so at 4am I am racing back to the hotel to shower and get to the airport by 6am. Had to check out of the hotel, drop off the car and run to my gate. Was at my job by 1pm - smelling like a brewery I am sure. But I made it.....

Man, I feel like a rock star!

and counting

The birthday is looming over me ..... two days away. I will be in Tampa with my sister and my Dad. Lord, help me!