World of Wasabi

Cabin Fever - day 2

So we have layers of ice and it has started the third round of snow.  I have watched 4 movies, made homemade veggie soup, did my laundry, cleaned out my closet, surfed the net, gave myself a mani & pedi and a facial, plucked my eyebrows, and deep conditioned my hair.  I read a complete novel and worked on three crossowrd puzzles ......

Good lord get me out of here!!!!  I'm running out of things to do - vacation and bad weather are not a good combo. 

The thing is I was suppose to be on a cruise this week - I got into an argument with one of the people I was suppose to share a cabin with and so I cancelled my trip - I figured it would be better to spend time at home with family and friends instead of a jackass I work with in Belize.  Man, was I wrong.

cabin fever

The midwest is getting hit with an ice storm, it's been going on for a couple of hours.  It's raining and sleating outside and the temp is only 28 degrees which makes for very messy driving.  I already have cabin fever ..... trying to figure out what to do and there's not a darn thing on TV.

new year ambition

I'm not really one to make new years resolutions.  On reflecting on the past year I have to say that it's been a great damn year!  So how do I want to improve it?  Well let see, I'm not all about the usual - yeah I could lose a couple of pounds but if I don't - I'm ok, I feel pretty damn good in my own skin, I look pretty good, I feel great, I'm healthy and for the most part a fun, loyal, responsible person to be around.  I could quit smoking - but I DO so much really enjoy a damn good cig with a beer ... that leads to drinking ... shit, I'd have no personality if I didn't have a cocktail or two now and then.  So that about kills the top three. 

Exercise - well I drag three hundred pounds of luggage every week through crowded airports so I think that's pretty much covered.  I have made complete bridges with all of my family so as long as I mantain those I am am doing good.  Career - taken care of .... the absolute best part of my life ... I LOVE MY JOB!

So that just leaves the "LOVE LIFE" - well if you have read anything about me - you'd know that this needs alot of improvement.  So I declare that 2005 is the "YEAR OF LOVE" for me.  And I am a sorry sorts when it comes to this.  It's not that I am completely disallusioned .... but I think, for the most part, I have lost the hopefulness of love.  I believe .... in "it".  But it's been so long since I have REALLY experienced it that I no longer remember the true meaning or exactly what it feels like.  Just like I still believe in Santa but I just think he thinks I have been really, really, really naughty for a very long time.  I have wrote the letter many times ..... "Dear Santa, let me explain ...."  Still no answer .... or presents.

And naughty is probably exactly what I have been ...... BUT.....

I am ready - ready to find love or a really good best friend or a companion (or a great partner that has the same goals and wants to have kids and marry for money).  Ok so, I am actually a romantic that truely belives in LOVE but I'm not so sure that everyone else does .... the last option is totally the last resort but this is 2005 and has been declared the "YEAR OF LOVE" so I am leaving all options open. 

So step one ... figure out a plan to meet new and exciting people.  Any ideas are welcomed.

Other than that - I resolve to eat more dairy.  Do more crossword puzzles.  Spring more surprises.  Be more optimistic.  Laugh at myself and others more.  Enjoy small gifts.  Pray & give thanks at least once a day.  Keep up & eliminate body hair.  Fight wrinkles with a passion.  Face one fear each and every day.  Not run from uncomfortable situations.  Maintain my backbone.  And stand up for myself with maintaining grace and humanity for others.  Also I will fine one joy each day to focus and reflect on.

These are attainable goals & resolutions .... and since I have put them in writing they will be true!

reflection

Ok.  I've been home one week.  And I have gone out with or talked to a couple of old loves.  Why?  Dunno.  Just seemed like the thing to do.  What I've learned ... I have grown.  I am not the same girl that sat at the end of the bar and waited for you because I had nothing better in my life at the moment.  I do not have to do the walk of shame any day of the week.  I do not have to be wide awake at 4am and listen to you snore.  I do not have to pretend that you are the most awesome thing happening in my life.  I still like you ... but you need to get your life together if you want to be with me. 

I feel fantastic that I am able to BE in that place in my life to say that.  I no longer chase you ... if you want ME (the real me)  you had better catch up.  This is your one and only chance.