World of Wasabi

post turkey day

I do believe I ate my weight in food on thanksgiving ....

things I'm thankful for:

my friends, my family, my health, my wealth (yeah it doesn't exist) my home, my co workers, my job, and all of life's opportunities that come about.  I am truly blessed.

Thanks God.

bringing home the bacon

This weekend I got the best complement ever.  I was In Philly at my first NBA game - had to take a quick smoke break and was standing at the outside bar (minding my own business) and there was a group of about 5 guys standing near ... I (on purpose) did not make eye contact because I was with people and it was a very quick break.  But standing there I overhear their conversation ....

"Now that girl is ALL woman!"  so of course I look over trying to see who he is talking about and by my surprise they are ALL looking at me.  I put out my cig and grab my drink and walk away (feelin that they are all looking at my ass ...) As I sit down at my seat I have this air of disbelief .... I know I am an kickass brilliant girl- but I don't EVER really think of myself as a "woman".  (And I'm sure my fabulousness wasn't what they were commenting on BUT ....)

I think of a woman as someone that is sexy, wise, secure, independent, and she has all of the power.  A woman is the top of the heap ... she is magnificent!

Granted I am very girly - I get mani's & pedi's ... I wax ... I am all about my hair and being in my idea weight or under ... I dress to impress and I put my shit out there.  I am independent, I support all of my own habits and existence.  I am opinionated and wise in my own respect just due to the experiences I have had in my short but colorful life.

But do I really think strangers NOTICE?  Not really.  I do all of this for myself - to make ME feel good. 

But to be said that "I am a woman" felt really, really, REALLY good.

Maybe I have arrived .... In my mind "absolutely".

I will know when...

I will know when the perfect man walks in my life when he sings or says these words ....

Ain't no sunshine when she's gone
It's not warm when she's away
Ain't no sunshine when she's gone
She's gone much too long
Any time she goes away

Ain't no sunshine when she's gone
Wonder if she's gone to stay
Ain't no sunshine when she's gone
And this house just ain't no home
Anytime she goes away

I know
She's gone to stay
It's breakin' me up
Anytime she goes away
Gotta leave the young thing alone
There ain't no sunshine when she's gone

Ain't no sunshine when she's gone
It's not warm when she's away
Ain't no sunshine when she's gone
And she's gone much too long
Any time she goes away

Ain't no sunshine when she's gone
I wonder if she's gone to stay
There ain't no sunshine when she's gone
And this house just ain't a home
Any time she goes away

I know
She's gone to stay
It's breaking me up
Any time she goes away
Gotta leave the young thing alone
There ain't no sunshine when she's gone

Ain't no sunshine when she's gone
I wonder if she's gone to stay
Ain't no sunshine when she's gone
And this house just ain't no home
Any time she goes away
Any time she goes away

beer # 6

ok enough of being sentimental.

let's talk about boys.

I say boys - not men - on purpose.

do they ever grow up? are they ever truly men? and why is it that if you put yourself out there vulnerable that they take full advantage of it? and why do we let them? and does sex drive them as much as we think that it does? and if we put out does it really put us in that catagory of "not the right girl"?  but if we don't put out does it put us in the catagory of "if you won't I will find the girl that will"? and are they really looking for the one that reminds them of their mother?  and if they hate their mother should you not trust them?  and when they roll over in the morning after snuggling and sex to tell you that they are going to moving in with their girlfriend should you "basic instinct" their ass because they truly deserve it ?  or should you just muster up whatever dignity you have left and walk away? and when their girlfriend gives them an altimatium not to ever speak to you again but then of course you are speaking to him again (naked) because he is telling you that she gave him an altimatium - should you figure out a way to send her an anonymous email picture where he is grabbin your ass .... 

the joys of dating.

MISSING YOU....

I miss my friends.  Something awful.

Usually I'm okay about this stuff.  Detached in that independant way. 

But tonight I had a really great conversation with one of my best friends (something we haven't gotten to do in a very long time), and she really has been going through some shit in her life, and I'm not there.  I'm not there to drag her ass out to some local sleazy bar and say "just unload" and she would and I would say something utterly stupid but profound and make her laugh and it would lighten the load if even for a couple of tipsy crazy moments ... and life would be okay cause we would figure out a way to become instantly rich and we could tell everyone that is driving us freaking insane to go screw themselves because all we really need to do in life is have pretty boys serve us drinks on a beach and wipe the sweat off of our perfect (but aging) asses.  Yeah I miss that.

I also miss &/or envy when my two best friends get to do this venting - bonding without me.  It sucks cause I'm usually working my butt off and being a responsible adult - which by all means is not my favorite hat to wear. 

I have "other" friends.  And I get to have fun with these other friends.  But they do not fill the void of my my true buddies.  And I can't even express to my "true buddies" how much I miss them because that wouldn't be right because there isn't much to do about the whole situation anyway.

But as I sit in my hotel room - on my 4th beer - I just wish it was my 4th beer sitting in some sleazy bar telling some obnoxious story, with tears in my eyes and a "can you fucking believe this happened look on my face" because it's completely ridiculous - and my friends sitting across from me grabbing their stomach - or laughing so hard that there are tears in their eyes, because then we all would know that for that brief moment in time that all the shit that goes on in the real world - will still go on - but we have each other to lean on and it all doesn't seem so bad.

A real "insanity" check if you will ...

I miss them so much - homesickness is a real bitch. 

(and they don't understand why five weeks in Vegas seems like an eternity?)