World of Wasabi

Rock my world

So that uneasy feeling I had just a few weeks ago .... well it was right on the money.  Basically every aspect of my life has just changed.  I got a fabulous new job.  Which in turn forces me to get a new vehicle and a new pad .... shopping for this stuff sucks lemons.  But I'm half way there for the time being.  Good news is I am almost back to reclaiming a normal life. 

Love life of 2005 .... is well, dead.  I buried it last week.  If you'd like to express your condolences, please send them to Cupid's mother -  because I killed that bastard too.

a tough one

So the perfect job isn't so perfect.  All good things must come to an end.  It hasn't ended yet but it will and the hopeful but yet non promised elusive we will provide for you a position if you just hang tight positions are looking quite sparse.  So with that being said .... what's a girl to do?  Well I'll tell you what she will do.   

You give me 6 weeks off and fill it with crap busy work and I'm putting my resume on monster.com and careerbuilder.com and any other damn employment opportunity available to the english speaking world.  Why?  Because of any lesson I have learned in life it is this .... take care of you - cause no one else is going to do it for you as well as you can do it for yourself.  So ...

I got responses ....

I got interviews ....

I have a second interview .... wednesday.

This job is for a medical software company.  It is the exact same job that I do now but different software.  My interview was solid and I felt great when I left.  It was a perfect fit for both me and the company.  BUT ... my job decides on friday at 3:30 to put out the schedule for next week .... and I am supposed to leave tomorrow.  I don't even get the email from my boss - it is pass on to me by a co worker.  I am supposed to be in NC tomorrow for the entire week ..... that, of course, would mean that I could not be in the most important - offer me the job - second interview that is to take place on Wednesday.   

Now - I found this position through a recruiter .... so I have some insight to what the employer is thinking.  I know that there are two position that are going to be filled and I am 1 of the 2 that were at the top of the list of all applicants.  SO...

SO WHAT DO I DO? 

Well here is the rest of the story - I have already told you that I'm supposed to go to NC this week.  After that next monday I am supposed to be in Orlando for a week for training on a new software.  Then the following monday my next install starts which last five weeks.  After that .... no garantees.

So ... one aspect is if for some reason I could figure out a way to be here on wednesday to go to the interview and they hire me.  I will have had to already made travel arrangements (expense to my current company) to go to Orlando for training that I will not need because I am giving notice that I am going to go work for another company.  And my notice will run into a few days of the install (again expense to them) and I won't have given my company ample notice to find someone to replace me on the install before hand.  But the new job starts March 1st and if I pass it up it will surely go to someone else.

Or ...

I go ahead and take the "LEAP OF FAITH" and give my two weeks notice, which gives my company this - they won't send me to NC - so I can go to my interview.  It also gives them time to figure out a plan to cover me on the next install and the won't spend the expense of me going to Orlando for training I won't use.

Or ...

Because  my job is my job - I go ahead and go to NC and I go ahead and go to Orlando.  Then I go to my next install which starts on the 27th - basically I follow out whatever they expect to happen in the next few months and then when it ends I try to find a new job or a job within the company that I am currently employed and play those odds ....

Seems simple BUT ....

I don't have a job offer in writing. 

YET.

And I have no guarantee with the company that I work with now.

So it's trusting .... faith....God....destiny....myself - that all is going to work out like I think it's going too.

Well, if you knew me and you have only a tiny glimpse in this blog of me and trust me it's maybe 1% of who I am - you would know that I am the most UNLUCKY person in the world.  Now I say that as the most optimistic person in the world also.  I know who I am.  I can hope and wish and be ready for anything and everything - cause I always am.  But in the left hand I know that if shit is going to happen to anyone - well it's going to happen to me.  Proven fact, over & over & over again.

So counting my chicks in a basket before the eggs even hatch is probably not the best road to take.

I need advice.

Year of Love - Update

IT SUCKS ASS.

Uneasy

Do you ever get that feeling that SOMETHING is gonna happen.  You don't know what it is or who it's about or why you feel this way - but you just can't shake it off.  That is how I have been feeling for the last two weeks.

Now granted, I have had some major things rock my boat lately but nothing that's been so horrendous that I can get out of bed the next day.  Just some things that shook me up some but I am bouncing back just fine.

But still that feeling is there.  Like God is saying .... "I'm not done with you yet, so hold on to your horses cause this ride is gonna get a little bumpy". 

Cabin Fever - day 2

So we have layers of ice and it has started the third round of snow.  I have watched 4 movies, made homemade veggie soup, did my laundry, cleaned out my closet, surfed the net, gave myself a mani & pedi and a facial, plucked my eyebrows, and deep conditioned my hair.  I read a complete novel and worked on three crossowrd puzzles ......

Good lord get me out of here!!!!  I'm running out of things to do - vacation and bad weather are not a good combo. 

The thing is I was suppose to be on a cruise this week - I got into an argument with one of the people I was suppose to share a cabin with and so I cancelled my trip - I figured it would be better to spend time at home with family and friends instead of a jackass I work with in Belize.  Man, was I wrong.

cabin fever

The midwest is getting hit with an ice storm, it's been going on for a couple of hours.  It's raining and sleating outside and the temp is only 28 degrees which makes for very messy driving.  I already have cabin fever ..... trying to figure out what to do and there's not a darn thing on TV.

new year ambition

I'm not really one to make new years resolutions.  On reflecting on the past year I have to say that it's been a great damn year!  So how do I want to improve it?  Well let see, I'm not all about the usual - yeah I could lose a couple of pounds but if I don't - I'm ok, I feel pretty damn good in my own skin, I look pretty good, I feel great, I'm healthy and for the most part a fun, loyal, responsible person to be around.  I could quit smoking - but I DO so much really enjoy a damn good cig with a beer ... that leads to drinking ... shit, I'd have no personality if I didn't have a cocktail or two now and then.  So that about kills the top three. 

Exercise - well I drag three hundred pounds of luggage every week through crowded airports so I think that's pretty much covered.  I have made complete bridges with all of my family so as long as I mantain those I am am doing good.  Career - taken care of .... the absolute best part of my life ... I LOVE MY JOB!

So that just leaves the "LOVE LIFE" - well if you have read anything about me - you'd know that this needs alot of improvement.  So I declare that 2005 is the "YEAR OF LOVE" for me.  And I am a sorry sorts when it comes to this.  It's not that I am completely disallusioned .... but I think, for the most part, I have lost the hopefulness of love.  I believe .... in "it".  But it's been so long since I have REALLY experienced it that I no longer remember the true meaning or exactly what it feels like.  Just like I still believe in Santa but I just think he thinks I have been really, really, really naughty for a very long time.  I have wrote the letter many times ..... "Dear Santa, let me explain ...."  Still no answer .... or presents.

And naughty is probably exactly what I have been ...... BUT.....

I am ready - ready to find love or a really good best friend or a companion (or a great partner that has the same goals and wants to have kids and marry for money).  Ok so, I am actually a romantic that truely belives in LOVE but I'm not so sure that everyone else does .... the last option is totally the last resort but this is 2005 and has been declared the "YEAR OF LOVE" so I am leaving all options open. 

So step one ... figure out a plan to meet new and exciting people.  Any ideas are welcomed.

Other than that - I resolve to eat more dairy.  Do more crossword puzzles.  Spring more surprises.  Be more optimistic.  Laugh at myself and others more.  Enjoy small gifts.  Pray & give thanks at least once a day.  Keep up & eliminate body hair.  Fight wrinkles with a passion.  Face one fear each and every day.  Not run from uncomfortable situations.  Maintain my backbone.  And stand up for myself with maintaining grace and humanity for others.  Also I will fine one joy each day to focus and reflect on.

These are attainable goals & resolutions .... and since I have put them in writing they will be true!

reflection

Ok.  I've been home one week.  And I have gone out with or talked to a couple of old loves.  Why?  Dunno.  Just seemed like the thing to do.  What I've learned ... I have grown.  I am not the same girl that sat at the end of the bar and waited for you because I had nothing better in my life at the moment.  I do not have to do the walk of shame any day of the week.  I do not have to be wide awake at 4am and listen to you snore.  I do not have to pretend that you are the most awesome thing happening in my life.  I still like you ... but you need to get your life together if you want to be with me. 

I feel fantastic that I am able to BE in that place in my life to say that.  I no longer chase you ... if you want ME (the real me)  you had better catch up.  This is your one and only chance. 

post turkey day

I do believe I ate my weight in food on thanksgiving ....

things I'm thankful for:

my friends, my family, my health, my wealth (yeah it doesn't exist) my home, my co workers, my job, and all of life's opportunities that come about.  I am truly blessed.

Thanks God.

bringing home the bacon

This weekend I got the best complement ever.  I was In Philly at my first NBA game - had to take a quick smoke break and was standing at the outside bar (minding my own business) and there was a group of about 5 guys standing near ... I (on purpose) did not make eye contact because I was with people and it was a very quick break.  But standing there I overhear their conversation ....

"Now that girl is ALL woman!"  so of course I look over trying to see who he is talking about and by my surprise they are ALL looking at me.  I put out my cig and grab my drink and walk away (feelin that they are all looking at my ass ...) As I sit down at my seat I have this air of disbelief .... I know I am an kickass brilliant girl- but I don't EVER really think of myself as a "woman".  (And I'm sure my fabulousness wasn't what they were commenting on BUT ....)

I think of a woman as someone that is sexy, wise, secure, independent, and she has all of the power.  A woman is the top of the heap ... she is magnificent!

Granted I am very girly - I get mani's & pedi's ... I wax ... I am all about my hair and being in my idea weight or under ... I dress to impress and I put my shit out there.  I am independent, I support all of my own habits and existence.  I am opinionated and wise in my own respect just due to the experiences I have had in my short but colorful life.

But do I really think strangers NOTICE?  Not really.  I do all of this for myself - to make ME feel good. 

But to be said that "I am a woman" felt really, really, REALLY good.

Maybe I have arrived .... In my mind "absolutely".